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Clean The Fan Lyrics!

by Jayme Gutierrez

Lyrics to the song “clean the fan”:

If you want to clean this stupid fan,
It’s not as easy as you plan…
You see, the battery and the screws should be removed,
And then three pannels with more screws,
Behind them, now it gets involved…

Start to slide the optical drive out,
“He means the DVD drive”
Take out the hard drive and this plug,
“Just grip the tag and pull upwards”
Look how they hide the screws,
Under parts that we remove,
I think it’s pretty clear, that we’re not welcome..


Why’s it have to be complicated,
All I wanted to do was clean the fan,
“Clean the fan, as good as new,
But spic and span is hard to do”,
I just wanted a simple pannel,
So I can get to the fan without the fuss.


But I guess they made it like that so that you can’t clean it and then it runs out of warranty and you end up having to by another one because it’s broken… Great.

Disconnect the wifi cables,
“All of this just to clean a fan”
Undo these clips to free the RAM,
“RAM means; Random Access Memory”
Now we flip the whole thing over,
Take the top half off,
I’ll show you how,
To take it all apart,
But don’t go yanking on it because there’s still cables attached to it..

Turn the screws to free the keyboard off,
“unplug it before you go tugging it off”
Then start unplugging all the plugs,
“Plug, plug, plug, plug, plug, plug, plug, plug”
Now the battery case and speakers,
Bare in mind that speakers have a magnet,
So just keep them free,
From any piece of circuitry.


Why’s it have to be complicated,
All I wanted to do was clean the fan,
“Clean the fan, as good as new,
But spic and span is hard to do”,
I just wanted a simple pannel,
So I can get to the fan without the fuss.


Now we reach the sad part of this song,
“Sad part”
A choice to make before we can go on proceed,
“That doesn’t rhyme”
See, if you want the fan to part,
From processor and graphics card,
You’ll have no choice but to remove,
Some thermal gel, you can’t reuse,
But you’ve come so far, so why refuse,
To buy a tiny tube of thermal gel?

“Lift this up,
Don’t forget about the plug,
Then a couple more screws,
And we can finally begin to..”

“Clean the fan as good as new,
But spic and span is hard to do..”

“So much fluff,
Gets stuck inside the heatsink,
Why is there no easy way to clean this?”

Clean the fan, clean the fan,
Clean the faa, aa, aaaa, aan yeah,
And then improvise yeah,
And say lots of phrases that don’t make sense,
Do some twiddly bits,
And, and go really high,
Yyyyeee, eee, eeh, ehh, yeah,
Oooh baby,
Make sure you say baby,
Cos everyone says baby,
Yeah, baby yeah,
Bay, bay, bay, bay, baby.

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6 Responses to “Clean The Fan Lyrics!”

  1. Alekio says:

    This actually helped me clean the fan :D

  2. Robin says:

    Great song, I wrote a piece (on fair trade recycling) about the good side of electronics (that an Egyptian techie or Malaysian geek is more willing to do something like this). What I cannot understand is the reference to Apple… those are even harder to service (try removing the hard drive). Thinkpad (IBM or Lenovo) are most popular with our geeks.

  3. Tom says:

    Brilliant song. I especially like the part where the song becomes self-aware of pop guitar music at the end. :)

    BTW, they probably made it so complicated so that you will have to buy more laptops. I heard from somewhere that manufacturers purposefully make things break quicker so that you have to buy more stuff. Don’t know if that’s true, but I wouldn’t be surprised.

  4. Maggie says:

    Absolutely brilliant song, not even something I would attempt to do and after hearing this, I’ll eave the techy stuff to others. totally excellent.

  5. Tryle says:

    McLovin’ it. Helped me disassemble my roomie’s laptop to do some minor repairs, it did.

    And yes, companies do work under the premise of “Planned Obsolescence”, where they force you to upgrade after a short use cycle.

  6. TomasCastilla says:

    AMigo, sos un crack, Toda tu musica, videos, tus letras, me encantan realmente tienes mucho talento, sigue asi, no pares que vas a llegar lejos! sos el mejor! un abrazo y un saludo, Pasate alguna vez por argentina, buenos aires a hacer algun conecierto ;) seria lo so├▒ado para mi Jaja Saludos y un fuerte abrazo desde Argentina

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